WeHeartItReflection

I was browsing We Heart It, as I do almost every day, and I found so many wonderful pictures. I chose one to talk about. It hit me hard because I know the feeling. I love my dad so much, but he was taken from me. First by what I believe was depression due to the death of my half brother, and then his own death. It truly is terrible, to love something that death can so easily snatch away. You never know when it's going to happen, you never know when the words you're speaking to them might be the last they ever hear from you, or when the date and moment that you will always remember will occur. I've never forgotten the day my father died, and I never will. I won't forget the chaos, the bravery, the love, the loss. It will be with me forever, because of someone death took from me.

Because of the reality I have been forced to face, the reality that at any moment someone you love can be taken away, I'm scared. It's hard to love when in the back of your mind there's this nagging voice that says, "Don't get attached, they could be taken too. Stay away, or the hurt will come back." Then I start wondering, that if it does happen again, will I be able to come back? I know I'm not perfect or extremely pleasant, but I'm happy with the way I came out of the most terrible part of my life. I'm happy that I fought through, and continue to fight. I'm proud that I continue to be strong. However, what if I lose my strength? What if it happens again and I'm left, broken, shattered into a million pieces that I'm too hurt to gather. If I don't have the strength to put myself together again, what would happen to me?